Life’s minutiae can be overwhelming. For some of us, there can be so much to worry about, handle, or stay on top of on a daily basis that it can be hard to stay motivated and energized every day. Daily routines start out as systems to help us move through life more efficiently, but it can also happen that they start to feel like prison cells. This loss of energy can be temporary, lasting only a couple of days. But if you’re not paying attention, this trapped feeling can last for months or years and feel like your new normal.
Often times, it’s when you are not engaging in hobbies or something you’re passionate about that you can start to feel less energized about life. In fact, the demands of your daily life can overshadow the moments of joy you find in your interests because the demands and stress feel so essential to your way of life.
Unfortunately, when your life revolves around doing what’s necessary and not paying attention to what fills you up, you can feel bored and disconnected. Your focus is so intently on others and outside expectations that you can have a really hard time tuning in and identifying what it is that would truly make you happy.
And when you forego giving yourself the time and attention you deserve, you can start to feel really lost. You no longer have a direct line to what it is that inspires or motivates you and you can begin to lose the passion you had for discovering and developing yourself. And, as you lose sight of yourself, you can start to feel numb and disconnected from others.
Perhaps for you it plays out in your life as a loss of self…
For so long you have been wrapped up in taking care of others, that you can no longer separate who you are from what you do. Every day you wake up and your first thought is about your family, and then work, and then taking care of the house. But rarely do you ever stop to think about what you need or want. It’s a rote and boring way to move through your life.
Your life has come down to not knowing what you enjoy doing any more, what goals you’d like to achieve, or what dreams you want to chase. Eventually, you have a choice to make. Whether to continue to live an uninspired life, or to make the changes you need to take care of yourself. You want to feel energized and excited about life again. And you want to reconnect to the part of yourself that you’ve lost.
The truth is that many people also get caught up in their day to day routines. And over time they feel like they have lost who they are. You are certainly not the only person to look back at the last several years of your life wondering where the time went and how you’ve gotten so far off track.
Stepping Into Your Fear And Making Changes
Somewhere along the way, you might have gotten the message that self-sacrifice is normal. That adults don’t care about what makes them happy so long as the bills are paid and everything practical is taken care of. Even though this stuck feeling can seem “normal,” it doesn’t mean it is the healthiest or happiest option for your life.
But making changes may seem really hard. Especially when the routines you’ve established for yourself have been helpful in many ways. However, if you continue to ignore what it is you truly want from life, you will continue to go down a path that feels foreign.
There’s a dullness that creeps in when you’ve given up on pursuing your passions. And this dullness can sap your energy. When you feel disinterested in the world you’ve created for yourself, it’s difficult to show up. So much so that you can forget the things that used to make you – you. Living this way only serves to drive a wedge between the dissatisfaction you’re feeling and the people who are important to you.
Feeling More Energized About Life by Doing What You Love
Although you struggle with a loss of vitality, you have the potential to regain the energy and passion you once felt about your life.
It’s important to rediscover the pieces of yourself you have buried for the sake of connecting with others. Knowing who you are, what you enjoy, and what makes you unique leads to much more rewarding relationships as they are built and with a sense of give and take. When you’re able to feel enthusiasm about your life, you bring carry this excitement into your reactions with others which only helps them feel more engaged with you.
But what else is important is your relationship with yourself. It’s difficult to look at, or talk to, yourself positively when you’ve given up on your passions. By tapping into passions that fuel you on a deeper level, you have the opportunity to rediscover and respect yourself, so you can change your views and live a better life.
Find Yourself And Engage Passionately In What You Love
Sure, you may be feeling like this is all easier said than done. Like the constraints on your time and energy are so tight that you have no idea how you’d find time to dedicate to yourself. After all, for so long you have been doing the ”supposed” honorable thing and you’ve forgotten how it feels to put yourself first.
But you can feel energized and enthusiastic about life again. The key is to take the time to figure out what your passions are, if and how they have changed, and then start to incorporate them, slowly, into your life again.
Step #1: Discover What It Is You Enjoy
It’s hard to jump right into reenergizing your life if you’re not even sure what it is you like to do. Spend some time here and dive deep to discover what might truly lift your spirits and make you happy.
Ask yourself questions like……
“What would I enjoy the most in this present moment?”
“What would give me the most energy?”
If nothing comes to mind, try to find time to sit quietly or take a walk outside. You’ll be surprised what you learn when you take the time to be quiet with yourself.
Sometimes, when clients come to Connecticut Integrative Counseling for support with a dispassionate life, they experience significant inspiration just by making a simple list of their interests. When you try this, you will start to realize that you may have a lot of things that light you up and you will begin to feel hopeful about engaging in them again.
Once in a while, clients come in and they will tell me they can’t come up with anything they enjoy or are passionate about. We explore their lack of enthusiasm and get to the root of why this is happening. Everyone has passions and things they enjoy, sometimes it just takes peeling off several layers with more self-discovery.
Step #2: Make Small Changes
One of the reasons people give up when they are trying to regain a zest for life is because they try to fix every aspect of their lives at once. Approaching a task like this is too daunting and can make you want to quit before you ever start to see any changes. By starting off small you give yourself time and space to make incremental changes, determine their effects, and adjust as you need to.
Together with my clients, we take a look at the ways small steady changes can move them closer to the bigger dreams they have for their futures. This might mean taking a class or two in order to prepare for a career change or finishing one painting in hopes of opening an art studio.
Step #3: Go For The Experience Not The End Result
It’s a cliché for a reason, but life is about the journey and not the destination. Once you’ve spent time rediscovering your passions and taking small steps to pursue them, it’s time to sit back and revel in the experience. You want to enjoy and fully engage in the activities you choose to spend your time pursuing. Not just view them as just another thing to tick off your checklist.
As you start to feel a bit better about yourself and your life, it can be tempting to fall back into old patterns. But remember that putting yourself on the backburner does not bring you any closer to your goal of feeling more energized and passionate about your life.
When you schedule a session with me, I will help you enjoy the process of discovering what it is about yourself and your life you enjoy and integrating these things into your identity, so you no longer have to put effort into them. They just become a part of who you are.
It’s easy to get caught up in the day to day routines of life and forget about doing things that you like. But when you take the time to discover your passions and incorporate them in your life, you will feel more energized and happier again.